God Bless You, Hormone Chicken.
November 30th 2006 01:16
Apparently it takes less than two months to grow a decent-sized, edible chicken nowadays. Though we don't actually use "Hormones" to grow our chickens, we still use growth-enhancing anit-biotics that enhance the size of and the growth speed of our chickens. The chicken you see in teh shops labelled 'Hormone Free!' is actually marketing preying upon the widespread misapprehension that they use hormones to grow these freakish birds. Again, like pretty much anything to do with marketing it falls juuuust short of being a lie.
The widespread use of these antibiotics has led some people to link this to the growing tendency of people in western country to develop resistance to antibiotics more readily, as its in so much of our food. Coupled with the fact that doctors seem to give out antibiotics like party favours for the slightest of runny noses, as well as the fact that we a growing new, stronger versions of our ailments faster than we are developibng ways to kill them; one can see a definite possiblity of us all going down to the not-so-common cold.
All because of the Hormone chicken. The humble chicken, so long a friend to mankind, providing us eggs and meat, and so reliably waking us up at dawn over the millennia since we domesticated it; this friendly little sidekick might jsut be our downfall.
All I can say is, "Who gives a fuck."
Is it because I'm fatalistic, nihilistic, or any other '-istic'?
No it's not.
Allow me to explain...
I walk along the street these days, I go to university, I get drunk at pubs and parties. I do lots of different things that require me to see lots of different people and places. One thing seems to be a common theme.
Massive Fucking Titties.
Now that I think about it some more, I'm actually kind of jealous.
Anyway, if it can make boys grow tits, what is it doing to women?
That's right, women are getting bigger and bigger in the breastal region because of the Hormone Chicken.
This is why I couldn't give a fuck if it will bring us down by raising our resistance to anti-biotics, which will mean that we wont be able to fight off the killer virus when it hits. Because in the meantime and right up until my last phlegm-choked breath, I get to see and touch and lick and suck on giant, sweet, picturesque, sweet, rounded, firm-yet-excitingly-yielding, oh so sweet tits. Back-strainingly huge funbags.
Excuse me a moment while I dance a little jig.
God Bless You, Hormone Chicken, God Bless every freakish inch of you. You complete me.
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Comment by Jimbo
Everyone should eat more turkey, apparently they're resistant to hormones.
Comment by Daressi
Comment by Questionable Content
Not on chicken, like I give a fuck. I wouldn't give KFC the satisfaction. I'm talking about titties.