Interview with a Porn Star
October 30th 2006 04:08
The Porn star in question is a Ms Jenna Jameson. For the delightfully unaware, Ms Jameson is a highly successful porn star...
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Me: Hi, Jenna, welcome to my humble lair of forbidden pleasure. Thanks for dropping by for a little chat.
Jenna: (looking around with a critical eye) hmm, yeah, hi. This is like the set of a movie I once did. Hmm, was it "Up and cummers" seven or eight? Or was it... no, there’s no donkey.
Me: Ah, ahem. Ok. Well let’s get you comfortable shall we?
Jenna: (interrupting) you better have KY, I only use KY. Otherwise I might lose my sponsorship.
Me: nonono, I meant get you a chair and a drink, perhaps? Would you care for some coffee?
Jenna: do you got some tequila? Even vodka will do.
Me: ah, it’s nine-thirty in the morning, you sure you want tequila?
Jenna: yeah, why not, the nights only just started. Wooooooo!
Me: ah, Jenna. Yeah, hi. It’s its nine thirty AY EMM. That means in the morning. The night ended about three hours ago.
Jenna: psh, whatever. You got any coke?
Me: I take it you don’t want something cold and black?
Jenna: no, but ill take anything hot and black if you got it. Aaahahaha.
Me: indeed. Well, look, let’s get started. Are you ready?
Jenna: I surely am. (Starts to take off top)
me: waitwaitwait. This is an interview. I'm going to be asking you questions, remember?
Jenna: huh? Oh yeah. Ok, shoot.
Me: well, you grew up in Vegas, and became an exotic dancer like your mother. How was that?
Jenna: Vegas was great. Man, nowhere has coke like Vegas.
Me: ok, cool. From there you happened to visit a porn movie set, and your interest was piqued...
Jenna: it was what? ah who cares, I went to this set and there were all these really hot men and women having sex, really loudly, and I got interested, so I asked around a bit.
Me: then there was a bidding war for your, er, talents...
Jenna: yeah! All these people were going crazy over little ole me.
Me: what was the final bid, if you don’t mind me asking...
Jenna: ummm, I think it was a case and a half of bud, and a box of Cubans.
Me: a whole box!? Good to see you held out on that deal, then. You mighta got ripped off. Moving on, I’m gonna get a little serious here.
Jenna: ooh!
Me: quite. Anyway, there are people that call you a 'whore' what do you have to say to that?
Jenna: (pauses and becomes strangely lucid, like she’s channeling some spirit) I am not a whore, what I do is art, it is artist-
me: (interrupting) hold on a sec. you get paid to have sex, I mean go pick up a dictionary, and that’s basically what it says. I mean, in the whole Sylvia Plath, Tibetan philosophy sense of the word, we are all 'whores' but we aren’t whores like you and Asia Carrera are.
Jenna: but what I do is art!
Me: fuck off its art. Just because there’s a camera and it’s therefore film, does not make it art. You fuck like rabid monkeys on camera for money. And probably drugs.
Jenna: you wouldn’t believe the drugs. But that’s beside the point. Ok if it’s not art, Mr. Smarty pants, fine, but I and the adult industry
me: (interrupting) porn, Jenna. It's porn. Can the euphemisms.
Jenna: I and the Adult industry display love for others to watch, and help people’s intimate relationships by opening up subjects that might otherwise be left undiscovered. The Adult industry has probably saved countless marriages as a result.
Me: hey, are you... you are, you’re reading that from the palm of your hand. Stop that please.
Jenna: am not.
Me: ah who cares. Look, there’s nothing loving about the 'relationships' in your movies. The term I used earlier was "rabid monkeys". I think that that about covers it. Plus, porn has nothing to do with relationships. Porn is for single guys to efficiently masturbate to so they can get it out of they way and go be productive and concentrate on stuff again. In fact, I reckon that the porn industry has done more to harm male-female relationships than it has helped.
Jenna: how so smart guy?
Me: well, you have all these guys watching and jerking off to and fantasizing about women like yourself. Because porn is about vicarious experience, when they watch these movies, they are watching themselves fuck you and not some glandular freak with a side of ham for a cock. They watch and they fantasize and eventually, when they meet real, attainable women, these women often don’t live up to the, in a certain light, "lofty standards" that you set. They want women to be as attractive and promiscuous and sexually imaginative as yourself, and the everyday woman is, in my opinion, not only not really capable of it physically, but just isn’t interested in being a series of fuckholes for some guy. Sad, as that may seem. You and your associates drive a deeper wedge between men and women, by providing an unattainable, and ultimately undesirable example, that any women worth the time are going to flat out reject; and paradoxically, one it seems is becoming more and more attractive to young men every passing day. You and your industry are a cancer upon society.
Jenna: hmmm. That’s pretty good. Want me to suck your cock?
Me: bring it on bitch.
-------
*note* This interview is fictitious, in case you were unaware.
--------
Me: Hi, Jenna, welcome to my humble lair of forbidden pleasure. Thanks for dropping by for a little chat.
Jenna: (looking around with a critical eye) hmm, yeah, hi. This is like the set of a movie I once did. Hmm, was it "Up and cummers" seven or eight? Or was it... no, there’s no donkey.
Me: Ah, ahem. Ok. Well let’s get you comfortable shall we?
Jenna: (interrupting) you better have KY, I only use KY. Otherwise I might lose my sponsorship.
Me: nonono, I meant get you a chair and a drink, perhaps? Would you care for some coffee?
Jenna: do you got some tequila? Even vodka will do.
Me: ah, it’s nine-thirty in the morning, you sure you want tequila?
Jenna: yeah, why not, the nights only just started. Wooooooo!
Me: ah, Jenna. Yeah, hi. It’s its nine thirty AY EMM. That means in the morning. The night ended about three hours ago.
Jenna: psh, whatever. You got any coke?
Me: I take it you don’t want something cold and black?
Jenna: no, but ill take anything hot and black if you got it. Aaahahaha.
Me: indeed. Well, look, let’s get started. Are you ready?
Jenna: I surely am. (Starts to take off top)
me: waitwaitwait. This is an interview. I'm going to be asking you questions, remember?
Jenna: huh? Oh yeah. Ok, shoot.
Me: well, you grew up in Vegas, and became an exotic dancer like your mother. How was that?
Jenna: Vegas was great. Man, nowhere has coke like Vegas.
Me: ok, cool. From there you happened to visit a porn movie set, and your interest was piqued...
Jenna: it was what? ah who cares, I went to this set and there were all these really hot men and women having sex, really loudly, and I got interested, so I asked around a bit.
Me: then there was a bidding war for your, er, talents...
Jenna: yeah! All these people were going crazy over little ole me.
Me: what was the final bid, if you don’t mind me asking...
Jenna: ummm, I think it was a case and a half of bud, and a box of Cubans.
Me: a whole box!? Good to see you held out on that deal, then. You mighta got ripped off. Moving on, I’m gonna get a little serious here.
Jenna: ooh!
Me: quite. Anyway, there are people that call you a 'whore' what do you have to say to that?
Jenna: (pauses and becomes strangely lucid, like she’s channeling some spirit) I am not a whore, what I do is art, it is artist-
me: (interrupting) hold on a sec. you get paid to have sex, I mean go pick up a dictionary, and that’s basically what it says. I mean, in the whole Sylvia Plath, Tibetan philosophy sense of the word, we are all 'whores' but we aren’t whores like you and Asia Carrera are.
Jenna: but what I do is art!
Me: fuck off its art. Just because there’s a camera and it’s therefore film, does not make it art. You fuck like rabid monkeys on camera for money. And probably drugs.
Jenna: you wouldn’t believe the drugs. But that’s beside the point. Ok if it’s not art, Mr. Smarty pants, fine, but I and the adult industry
me: (interrupting) porn, Jenna. It's porn. Can the euphemisms.
Jenna: I and the Adult industry display love for others to watch, and help people’s intimate relationships by opening up subjects that might otherwise be left undiscovered. The Adult industry has probably saved countless marriages as a result.
Me: hey, are you... you are, you’re reading that from the palm of your hand. Stop that please.
Jenna: am not.
Me: ah who cares. Look, there’s nothing loving about the 'relationships' in your movies. The term I used earlier was "rabid monkeys". I think that that about covers it. Plus, porn has nothing to do with relationships. Porn is for single guys to efficiently masturbate to so they can get it out of they way and go be productive and concentrate on stuff again. In fact, I reckon that the porn industry has done more to harm male-female relationships than it has helped.
Jenna: how so smart guy?
Me: well, you have all these guys watching and jerking off to and fantasizing about women like yourself. Because porn is about vicarious experience, when they watch these movies, they are watching themselves fuck you and not some glandular freak with a side of ham for a cock. They watch and they fantasize and eventually, when they meet real, attainable women, these women often don’t live up to the, in a certain light, "lofty standards" that you set. They want women to be as attractive and promiscuous and sexually imaginative as yourself, and the everyday woman is, in my opinion, not only not really capable of it physically, but just isn’t interested in being a series of fuckholes for some guy. Sad, as that may seem. You and your associates drive a deeper wedge between men and women, by providing an unattainable, and ultimately undesirable example, that any women worth the time are going to flat out reject; and paradoxically, one it seems is becoming more and more attractive to young men every passing day. You and your industry are a cancer upon society.
Jenna: hmmm. That’s pretty good. Want me to suck your cock?
Me: bring it on bitch.
-------
*note* This interview is fictitious, in case you were unaware.
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